这篇文章改编自FJF和GSA这两个人写的《金钱买不到爱： 关于礼物价格和感激之情的非对称理念》

This passage is adapted from Francis J. Flynn and Gabrielle S. Adams, "Money Can’t Buy Love: Asymmetric Beliefs about Gift Price and Feelings of Appreciation." ©2008 by Elsevier Inc.

本文改编自Francis J. Flynn and Gabrielle S. Adams的《金钱买不到爱：关于礼物价格和感激之情的非对称理念》

Every day, millions of shoppers hit the stores in full force—both online and on foot—searching frantically（马力全开） for the perfect gift. Last year, Americans spent over $30 billion at retail stores in the month of December（这算什么，淘宝双十一，一天就是900亿） alone. Aside from purchasing holiday gifts, most people regularly buy presents for other occasions throughout the year, including weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and baby showers. This frequent experience of gift-giving can engender ambivalent feelings in gift-givers. Many relish the opportunity to buy presents because gift-giving offers a powerful means to build stronger bonds with one’s closest peers. At the same time, many dread the thought of buying gifts; they worry that their purchases will disappoint rather than delight the intended recipients.

每天，数以百万计的购物者开足马力，冲向商店——线上和线下——疯狂搜寻完美的礼物。去年，单就12月，美国人在零售商店就消费了300亿美金。一年中，除了购买节日礼物，大部分人通常还要购买别的礼物，结婚礼物、生日礼物、纪念日礼物、毕业礼物、迎婴礼物。经常送礼导致送礼者产生矛盾情绪。很多人享受买礼物的过程，因为送礼是一种绝佳方式，将一个人和他的亲密伙伴紧密联系起来。同时，很多人害怕买礼物；他们担心受赠者会不喜欢。

Anthropologists describe gift-giving as a positive social process, serving various political, religious, and psychological functions. Economists, however, offer a less favorable view. According to Waldfogel(1993), gift-giving represents an objective waste of resources. People buy gifts that recipients would not choose to buy on their own, or at least not spend as much money to purchase (a phenomenon referred to as “the deadweight loss of Christmas”). To wit, givers are likely to spend $100 to purchase a gift that receivers would spend only $80 to buy themselves. This "deadweight loss” suggests that gift-givers are not very good at predicting what gifts others will appreciate. That in itself is not surprising to social psychologists. Research has found that people often struggle to take account of others’ perspectives— their insights are subject to egocentrism, social projection, and multiple attribution errors.

人类学家认为赠送礼物是一个积极的社交过程，具有政治、宗教、心理等各种功能。尽管如此，经济学家没那么乐观。沃德佛歌提出（1993），赠送礼物从客观上讲是浪费资源。人们买的礼物是受赠者自己不会去买的，或者至少不会花那么多钱去买的(一种叫做“圣诞节无谓损失”的现象)。也就是说，赠送者有可能花100美元去买一个东西做礼物，而受赠者如果是自己用的话只愿意花80美元。这种“无谓损失”表明，赠送者不太擅长挑选别人喜欢的礼物。社会心理学家对此并不觉得惊讶。研究发现人们通常纠结于换位思考——人们的洞察力受多个因素影响：自我中心主义、社会影射以及多重归因错误。

What is surprising is that gift-givers have considerable experience acting as both gift-givers and gift-recipients, but nevertheless tend to overspend each time they set out to purchase a meaningful gift. In the present research, we propose a unique psychological explanation for this overspending problem—i.e., that gift-givers equate how much they spend with how much recipients will appreciate the gift (the more expensive the gift, the stronger a gift-recipient’s feelings of appreciation). Although a link between gift price and feelings of appreciation might seem intuitive to gift-givers, such an assumption may be unfounded. Indeed, we propose that gift-recipients will be less inclined to base their feelings of appreciation on the magnitude of a gift than givers assume.

让人惊讶的是，赠送者具有丰富的经验，无论是作为赠送者还是受赠者，但是每次去买礼物时还是会花冤枉钱。在目前的研究中，我们提出了一个唯一的心理解释——赠送者把礼物的价格跟受赠者的感激之情挂钩（东西越贵，别人越感激）。赠送者的直觉认为礼物价格和感激之情可能有联系，但这种假设是没有根据的。的确，我们认为礼物的价格决定感激之情的程度，不如赠送者想象的那么大。

Why do gift-givers assume that gift price is closely linked to gift-recipients‟ feelings of appreciation? Perhaps givers believe that bigger (i.e., more expensive) gifts convey stronger signals of thoughtfulness and consideration. According to Camerer (1988) and others, gift-giving represents a symbolic ritual, whereby gift-givers attempt to signal their positive attitudes toward the intended recipient and their willingness to invest resources in a future relationship. In this sense, gift-givers may be motivated to spend more money on a gift in order to send a “stronger signal” to their intended recipient. As for gift-recipients, they may not construe smaller and larger gifts as representing smaller and larger signals of thoughtfulness and consideration.

为什么赠送者会觉得两者密切相关呢？可能是赠送者觉得礼物越大（越贵），传递的思虑信号越强。卡默勒（1988）和一些学者认为，赠送礼物象征一种仪式，借此赠送者试图表达他们对于受赠者的积极态度，以及他们对未来关系的投资意愿。从这个意义上讲，赠送者就愿意花更多的钱来传递“更强”的信号。而受赠者可能不是这么解读的。

The notion of gift-givers and gift-recipients being unable to account for the other party’s perspective seems puzzling because people slip in and out of these roles every day, and, in some cases, multiple times in the course of the same day. Yet, despite the extensive experience that people have as both givers and receivers, they often struggle to transfer information gained from one role (e.g., as a giver) and apply it in another, complementary role (e.g., as a receiver). In theoretical terms, people fail to utilize information about their own preferences and experiences in order to produce more efficient outcomes in their exchange relations. In practical terms, people spend hundreds of dollars each year on gifts, but somehow never learn to calibrate their gift expenditures according to personal insight.

赠送者和受赠者都不能站在对方的立场考虑问题，这种情况让人不解，因为双方每天都在互换着角色，有时候甚至一天多次。虽然人们拥有丰富的双重经验，但他们通常还是挣扎在信息转换中，搞不清如何把此角色（赠送者）的信息转化到彼角色（受赠者）。理论上讲，在这种角色互换过程中，人们没能成功地利用自身偏好、经验等信息，来取得高效的结果。从现实上讲，人们每年花费大把的钞票来购买礼物，却没